Well everything might seem fine, but who knows. I just want to find someone that really understands what it is like to be me. Honestly I think everything is wrong with me! Anxiety, think too much, sweat the small stuff. WOW! What a life to live! I can't seem to be happy for more than two hours because I don't really know if i really have something to be happy for. I feel lonely and it seems like everyone around me is content. I find out one good thing and then i throw it back at myself in rejection. I want to be happy so badly and I really don't want to be alone anymore or feel this way! Wow, can I be depressing! I am normally happy and alive, but lately I have felt like the walking dead and whatever I do just numbs everything even more. So far, this week back from break has been the shittiest week ever! What can i do? No one seems to really understand and everything else has just fallen out of place. Sometimes I wish people wouldn't even bother with wanting to know me. I am what I am, but something is missing...I desperately yearn for someone to call me just to talk or just to see what is up! Are phone calls really that hard to make? I am tired of emails and messages online. It is so impersonal. Makes me feel as if I am just another face in a crowd that makes me feel unwanted. Texting is fine but there's no feeling to it. Well let's just hope for the best to come later this weekend at the Four Letter Lie Concert!
*Please let this be an awesome weekend! I really need a miracle.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
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